托福写作：3点建议

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托福写作：3点建议

建议一： 避免空洞的单词和词组

1. 一些空洞的单词或词组根本不能为句子带来任何相关的或重要的信息，完全可以被删掉。比如下面的句子：

When all things are considered, young adults of today live more satisfying lives than those of their parents, in my opinion.

这句话当中的“when all things are considered”和“in my opinion“都显得多余。完全可以去掉。改为：

Young adults of today live more satisfying lives than their parents.

2. 有些空洞和繁琐的表达方式可以进行替换，例如：

Due to the fact that our grandparents were under an obligation to help their parents, they did not have the options that young people have at this point in time.

“due to the fact that”就是一个很典型的繁琐的表达方式的例子，可以替换，简化为下面的表达方式：

Because our grandparents were obligated to help their parents, they did not have the options that young people have now.

建议二： 避免重复

1. 尽量避免重复使用同样的词汇。或者有的时候虽然词汇没有重复，但意思却有重复。这时候可以做一些简化的工作。例如下面这个例子：:

The farm my grandfather grew up on was large in size.

large 对一个farm来说就是size方面的large，所以in size可以去掉，改为：

The farm my grandfather grew up on was large.

更简洁的表达方式为：

My grandfather grew up on a large farm.

2. 有时一个词组可以用一个更简单的单词来替换，例如：

My grandfather has said over and over again that he had to work on his parents’ farm.

这里的over and over again就可以改为repeatedly，显得更为简洁：

My grandfather has said repeatedly that he had to work on his parents’ farm.

建议三：选择最恰当的语法结构

选择合适的语法结构可以使句子意思的表达更为精确和简练。虽然语法的多样性也很重要，但选择最恰当的语法结构仍然是更为重要的考虑因素。以下推荐几种考生们在考虑选择何种语法结构时可以参考的原则：

1. 一个句子的主语和谓语动词应该能够反映句子中的最重要的意思。例如：.

The situation that resulted in my grandfather’s not being able to study engineering was that his father needed help on the farm.

从意思上来分析，上面这句话需要表达的重要的概念是“grandfather’s not being able to study”，而在表达这个概念时，原句用的主语是situation，谓语动词是was，不能强调需要表达的重点概念，可以改为下面这句话：

My grandfather couldn’t study engineering because his father needed help on the farm.

2. 避免频繁使用“there be”结构，例如下面的句子：

There were 25 cows on the farm that my grandfather had to milk every day. It was hard work for my grandfather.

可以改为：My grandfather worked hard. He had to milk 25 cows on the farm every day.

更简洁的句式为：

My grandfather worked hard milking 25 cows daily.

3. 把从句改为短语或单词。例如：

Dairy cows were raised on the farm, which was located100 kilometers from the nearest university and was in an area that was remote.

简介的表达方式为：

The dairy farm was located in a remote area, 100 kilometers to the nearest university.

4. 仅在需要强调宾语而不是主语的时候，才使用被动语态。例如：

In the fall, not only did the cows have to be milked, but also the hay was mowed and stacked by my grandfather’s family.

本句不够简洁的原因是本句的重心应该是“忙碌的家庭-my grandfather’s family”，而使用了被动语态后，仿佛重心变成了cows和hay。下面的表达方式是主动语态，相对来说更简洁一些：

In the fall, my grandfather’s family not only milked the cow but also mowed and stacked the hay.

5. 用更为精确的一个动词来代替动词短语，例如下面这句话：

My grandfather didn’t have time to stand around doing nothing with his school friends.

Stand around doing nothing其实可以用一个动词来表达，即loiter：

My grandfather didn’t have time to loiter with his school friends.

6. 有时两句话的信息经过组合完全可以用一句话来简练地表达，例如：

Profits from the farm were not large. Sometimes they were too small to meet the expenses of running a farm. They were not sufficient to pay for a university degree.

两句话的信息可以合并为下面这句更为简洁的句子：

托福写作高分满分范文点评和思路解析：朋友人数的选择

托福写作难点话题一览

Spend time with one or two close friends, or with a large number of friends?

Some people prefer to spend time with one or two close friends. Others choose to spend time with a large number of friends. Compare the advantages of each choice. Which of these two ways of spending time do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer.

写作思路展开结构分析

这个话题需要大家对比的是少数朋友和许多朋友，其实是一个择友观的问题。这个题目本身没有明显倾向性，考生可以结合自己的实际情况来说。选择和一两个亲密朋友一起玩，可以说自己跟愿意和少数志同道合的朋友共度时间，选择和一大群朋友一起玩，则可以说自己喜欢参加集体活动跟许多人建立友谊等等。

本话题高分范文赏析

Of the two possibilities, I prefer the first, that is, to spend my time with one or two close friends, because I enjoy close friendship with one or two people and the cozy atmosphere of spending time with close friends. When spending time with a large number of friends, it tends to be difficult to form solid, meaningful friendships with any of the people, since cultivating friendship needs time to communicate. On the other hand, when spending time with only one or two close friends, it is more likely to get to know these people on a very close level. I think this closeness is very important in a friendship. In fact, if I share no closeness with a person, then I do not consider him a friend; I consider him an acquaintance. Moreover, it is not only closeness but also the cozy atmosphere that makes me prefer spending time with only one or two friends. In this cozy atmosphere, I always feel there is nothing that I could not or would not tell my friends, as they feel the same. This means we can trust each other completely. Although this doesn't at all mean there's no cozy atmosphere or complete trust when spending time with many friends, it is my observation that everyone tends to be more open in private. This is why I enjoy the intimate friendship. In addition, spending time with few friends can save much time, since the relationship among a few people is more likely to be simpler. I'm not proficient at dealing with relationship among people, and often get frustrated communicating with a crowd. However, when I am spending time with one or two close friends, this doesn't matter at all. In fact, my close friends, notwithstanding few in number, always tell me I'm their best friend who can truly care about them and handle the relationship smoothly. I think it is my personality that has me make such a choice.

Profits from the farm were sometimes too small to meet operational expenses, let alone pay for a university degree.

托福综合写作结尾段范文

In summary, the conclusion reached in this argument is in valid and misleading. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer would have to prove that_____. Moreover, I would suspend my judgment about the credibility of the recommendation until the arguer can provide concrete evidence that_____. Otherwise, the arguer is simply begging the question throughout the argument.

To conclude, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. Before we accept the conclusion, the arguer must present more facts that_____. To solidify the argument, the arguer would have to produce more evidence concerning____.

As it stands, the argument is not well reasoned. To make it logically acceptable, the arguer would have to demonstrate that ____. Additionally, the arguer must provide evidence to _____.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains. To strengthen the argument the arguer would have to provide more evidence concerning that_____.

In conclusion, the arguer fails to _____. To strengthen the argument, the arguer would have to provide evidence that____. To better evaluate the argument, we need more information about that____.

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