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托福写作:统一性问题解析

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托福写作:统一性问题解析

一个段落内的各个句子必须从属于一个中心,任何游离于中心思想之外的句子都是不可取的。请看下例:

Joe and I decided to take the long trip we‘d always wanted across the country. We were like young kids buying our camper and stocking it with all the necessities of life. Bella bakes the best rhubarb pie. We started out in early spring from Minneapolis and headed west across the northern part of the country. We both enjoyed those people we met at the trailer park. Joe received a watch at his retirement dinner. To our surprise, we found that we liked the warm southern regions very much, and so we decided to stay here in New Mexico.

本段的主题句是段首句,controlling idea(中心思想)是take the long trip across the country。文中出现两个irrelevant sentences,一个是Bella bakes the best rhubarb pie,这一段是讲的是Joe and I ,中间出现一个Bella是不合适的。还有,Joe received a watch at his retirement dinner这一句更是与主题句不相关。考生在四级统考的作文卷上常常因为造出irrelevant sentences(不相关语句)而丢分,值得引起注意。再看一个例子:

My name is Roseanna, and I like to keep physically fit. I used to weigh two hundred pounds, but I joined the YMCA for an exercise class and diet program. In one year I lost eighty pounds. I feel much better and never want to have that much weight on my five-feet frame again. I bought two new suitcases last week. Everyday I practice jogging three miles, swimming fifteen laps, lifting twenty-pound weights and playing tennis for one hour. My mother was a premature baby.

本段的controlling idea 是like to deep physically fit,但段中有两个irrelevant sentences,一个是I bought two new suitcases last week,另一个是My mother was a premature baby。

从上面两个例子可以看出,native speakers同样会造出来irrelevant sentences。卷面上如果这种句子多了,造成偏题或离题,那问题就更严重了。

托福写作高分满分范文点评和思路解析:衡量工作价值的方式

托福写作难点话题一览

Is money the most important aspect of a job?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

写作思路展开结构分析

这道题目问的是大家对于职业选择的看法。因为题目中使用了most important这样的绝对词,所以一般来说都是选择反对这个观点会比较容易展开论述。实际上除了看工资以外,关于一项工作的价值还可以从其职业发展,对个人能力提升的帮助等方面来展开,这些都是大家比较容易想到也相对好展开的论点。

本话题高分范文赏析

I understand that nowadays it is very important for people to earn a lot of money. As a matter of fact, many people equate money with success: the more money you earn, the more successful you are. However, the financial aspect is not the most important aspect of a job. The work environment and camaraderie with one's coworkers, the personal fulfillment from one's occupation, and the opportunity to balance professional and personal lives are much more important. People who spend forty hours a week or more at their place of employment should enjoy their work environment, especially the company of their co-workers. After all, the prospect of having to spend any amount of time in a room or a building with people who one does not respect, who are unpleasant, or, even worse, hostile, will have a very negative effect on one's disposition and mental health. A few more dollars in the bank account cannot compensate for this. Similarly, one should derive a special fulfillment or pleasure from doing one's job. Normally, a person will spend at least a third of his/her adult life at work (eight hours or more every day). One should not waste this time by doing work that is boring or tedious even if it is well paid. The money earned will only enrich the life away from work but not enhance the work experience. Finally, the personal life can only be enjoyed adequately if there is enough time away from the professional life. Affluence affords many nice things, such as houses or cars or television sets, but a person who has to work night and day will not be able to derive any pleasure from them. Also, a father or a mother who makes a lot of money might be able to provide his or her family with a comfortable life, but how much good does that do if he or she never sees them? Time spent with family, especially children, is invaluable, and thus a job with long hours might cost a person more than it affords.

托福写作:该怎样冲刺高分

正常句: Luck only works in extreme cases.

倒装句: Only in extreme cases does luck work.(否定词位于句首的倒装。)

正常句: The internet provides people access to the latest information.

强调句: It is the internet that provides people access to the latest information. (强调the internet)

正常句: The environment has been deteriorating severely along with the development of industry.

状语前置句: Along with the accelerating development of industry, the environment has been deteriorating severely.

正常句: However, new zoos try to duplicate animals’ natural habitats as much as possible and give animals a comfortable amount of space.

插入语: New zoos, however, try to duplicate animals’ natural habitats as much as possible and give animals a comfortable amount of space. (连词however做插入语)

主语多样

1. 她突然想到了一个主意。

She suddenly had an idea.

通常情况下,考生会马上对这句话进行翻译,基本不会动句子结构。但是以人作为主语的英语句子总是不能够很吸引人,所以这个句子如果稍微做下修改,以后面的宾语“主意”做主语,这个句子会发生一些变化。

An idea suddenly occurred to her.

2. 他开车心不在焉,几乎闯祸。

He was absent-minded when driving, and almost caused an accident.

这句话依然是拿人做主语,稍微改一下,把心不在焉这个形容词的名词形式做主语,会大不相同。

His absence of mind during driving nearly caused an accident.

3. 美利坚合众国创立于1789年。

The United States of America was founded in 1789.

这句话没有任何错误,但是不够多样,可以用时间作主语。

The year 1789 witnessed the founding of the United States of America.

III 实用句型

在文章的最后,朗阁海外考试研究中心为大家列举几个新托福考试中可以使用的套用句型,为一些写句子摸不着头绪的考生提供帮助。

1. It pays to make great efforts to prepare for TOEFL-ibt.

努力准备新托福考试是值得的。

2. Nothing is more important than to receive education.

没有比接受教育更重要的了。

3. The reason why the white-collars suffer increasing work-related stress is that they pursue work achievement in career.

白领压力日益增加的原因是他们在事业上有所追求。

4. It is time the related department took proper measures.

(虚拟句式)相关部门早该采取适当的措施了。


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