很多同学,特别是刚刚接触托福的同学,对独立写作开头部分写法感到很头疼。今天小编给大家带来了托福写作:“定义法”三步快速解决写作开头难 ,希望能够帮助到大家,下面小编就和大家分享,来欣赏一下吧。
托福写作:“定义法”三步快速解决写作开头难
对于开头部分的构思,很多同学首先会想到模版。模版会提供现成的思路甚至套句,我们直接将自己的观点带入即可。比如:
模版开头一
when it comes to the topic that…, opinions of the public are of great variety. Admittedly, some people would claim that….. However, I still insist that… My reasons will be listed as follows.
又比如在涉及到A和B两个对象的影响类的题目里,常见模版开头二:
Nowadays, the influence of A on B is a matter for debate for a long time. some people claim that… However, I disagree with them. In my viewpoint, … and the following is my reasons.
模版可以用,但是不建议同学们拿到题目就直接带入模版,一来语言会显得呆板,二来托福官方对模版的态度为“不扣分,不加分”,因此模版对于想要高分的同学学来说并没有太大优势。所以还是希望同学们看到话题之后可以进行一定独立思考。今天我们一起看下常见的开头破冰法之一:定义法引入。
所谓“定义法”,就是下定义,对题目中的某些名词或概念进行解释,比如题目所涉及的success, responsibility, independence,social skills,part-time jobs等,我们可以直接解释这些概念是什么,或者大家对这些事物的看法等,还有可能涉及到重要性或者其影响等词,比如importance, benefits, advantageous,exert positive/negative influence on,一般一句话带过即可。下面我们结合具体题目带入“定义法引入”的具体应用。
例如:
D/A: One ofthe best ways that parents can help their teenager children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.
在这个题目中,所涉及到的名词有parents, teenager children, adult life, 和a part-time job四个名词及词组,也就是说这个题目我们可以从四个角度进行开头段的构思。但我们应该优先从最好把握的入手。不难发现,a part-time job属于话题的关键词眼,所以[第一步]我们可以直接针对a part-timejob进行解释,比如Part-time jobs, which act as a warm-up for the future career, can provide children with a general image of the society. 或者Part-time jobs is of great importance in helping children better understand the society they are live in.定义法解释过之后,[第二步]我们要引出题目中的其它对象,最后第三步引出自己立场。比如上边紧接着a part-time job 这一句可以For most parents, it is really an ideal choice to help their children prepare for adult life.[第三步]在点明观点时,我们可以紧接着提出,Thus I agree with the opinion in the statement.甚至最后可以加一句,比如:my reasons will be detailed as follows. 或者my reasons are as follows.
这时我们的开头段已经基本搞定:
Part-time jobs, which act as a warm-up for the future career, can provide children with ageneral image of the society.For most parents, it is really an ideal choice to help their children prepare for adult life.Thus I agree with the opinion in the statement. My reasons will be detailed as follows.
这个题目还涉及到其它三个对象,也就是说,我们还可以根据上边定义法的思路以其它三种方式引出该话题,见下文供大家参考:
Parents:
Parents, as the most essential guide in our life, love us so much that they always want a fast and steady development of us. Thus, many parents suggest their children to work on a part-time job, which acts as a warm-up for their future career. From where I stand, I agree with the suggestion to take on a part-time job during teenage period. My reasons are listed as follows.
Teenage children:
Teenage is the most crucial period in one’s life, for it is a fast developing stage both in physical and mental aspects. That is why parents are urged to figure out the most efficient way for their children to keep up with the quick development. Working on a part-time job is considered one of the best solutions for many parents. From where I stand, I agree with the suggestion to take on apart-time job during teenage period. My reasons are listed as follows.
Adult life:
Many teenagers are looking forward to the adult life while the other are reluctant to grow up. However, growing up is an inevitable process/stage in one’s life. Part-time job, which acts as a warm-up for the future career, gives children a general image of the society.From where I stand, I agree with the suggestion to take on a part-time job during teenage period. My reasons are listed as follows.
我们还可以以同样的方法带入其它题目,比如D/A: People should have hobbies and do physical activities that are very different from work.
这个题目所涉及名词有work和hobbies and physical activities,我们就以work为切入点,进行定义,然后引出开头段。比如:
For most people, work takes a massive part of our whole lives. We go to school to prepare for a career, work through our best years, and eventually, after retirement, live off of pension generated from the job. However, other than the monetary part, our hobbies and physical activities might benefit us more if they were different from our jobs.
这个开头写法相对比较灵活,并没有受原题目的限制,巧妙的引出了自己立场。值得大家参考。
丨Tips:
1. 在对题目中所涉及的名词对象下定义时,建议大家从具体名词入手,尽量避开抽象名词,以降低自己构思难度。
2. 一般情况下,开头部分篇幅长度为40-60字即可。我们的写作还是要以理由段的论述为主,所以建议同学们不要浪费太多时间在开头部分。
托福独立写作高分小技巧:Rhetorical Questions
如果说参加托福考试时在综合写作中还可以适当使用“模板”的话,那么独立写作里“模板”的使用往往会被并标以“pre-prepared”,因此考生想通过这种“捷径”提高得分的结果不会特别理想。独立写作提高得分的关键还是“实力说话”。
尽管“模板”效果有限,但短期提高得分的技巧还是很多,如活用“万能理由”和巧用“论证方法”等。本文主要介绍在独立写作中很多考生没有注意的一个加分“小”技巧—rhetorical question的使用。
在托福写作实战中,rhetorical question的使用能够起到很好的加分作用。为了说明rhetorical question的加分作用,请看托福Official Guide评卷人对一篇题为Dishonesty Kills Reliability的满分作文的点评。下面是点评中关于language的comment:
The writer's language is fluent, accurate, and varied enough to effectively support the progression and connection of ideas. There is a variety of sentence structures, including rhetorical questions.
评卷人把rhetorical questions看做加分点!
从上面的点评中,我们可以清楚的得出这个结论——至少评卷人把上述段落中的反问句视作一种“句型变化”而加以肯定和褒扬。
那么,何谓rhetorical question?Rhetorical question会不会很难?
我们先来看在托福Official Guide里备受评卷人赞誉的rhetorical question实例。在原文第四段中,为了说明honesty的重要性作者是这样写的:
In any relationship of mine, I would wish that first of all, the person I'm dealing with is honest.Even though s/he thinks that s/he did something wrong that I wouldn't like,s/he'd better tell me the truth and not lie about it. Later on if I find out about a lie or hear the truth from someone else, that'd be much more unpleasant. In that case how can I ever believe or trust that person again?How can I ever believe that this person has enough confidence in me to forgive him/her and carry on with the relationship from there.……
提问而不需对方回答,提问只是为了表明并强调作者的立场。这不就是汉语中的“反问”吗?维基百科对反问句的定义是:
A rhetorical question is a figure of speech in the form of a question thatis asked to make a point rather than to elicit an answer. Though a rhetorical question does not require a direct answer, in many cases it may beintended to start a discussion or at least draw an acknowledgement that thelistener understands the intended message.
还有学者对反问的定义更加清楚:
A rhetorical question is asked just for effect or to lay emphasison some point discussed when no real answer is expected.
那么,rhetorical question为什么能够收到评卷人的赞誉而得到加分?这就要从托福作文的评分标准说起了。托福Official Guide里面对于高分作文的要求(Scoring Rubic)描述如下:
.ffectively addresses the topicand task
.s well organized and well developed, appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and / or details
.isplay Unity, progression, and coherence
.isplay consistent use of language,demonstrating syntactic variety, appropriate word choice, and idiomaticity
从上面的评分标准可以清楚看出,rhetorical question能够帮助我们满足实现评分标准第四条中的“demonstrating syntactic variety”。这也正是官方指南中评卷人的点评。
其实,除了体现“句型变化”,合理使用rhetorical question还能帮助我们满足评分标准第一条的要求“effectively addresses the topic and task”。事实上,rhetorical question不仅能够有效的回应主题,还能强调作者的观点从而获得读者的认同。rhetorical question的这种强调作用最著名的范例可能算是雪莱《西风颂》Ode to the West Wind的结尾了:
“O Wind,If Winter comes,can Spring be far behind?”
另外,问句,尤其是设问的合理使用还能起到很好的衔接作用,也就是评分标准的第三条“Display Unity, progression, and coherence”。因此,有学者把rhetorical question的篇章作用总结如下:
• Emphasize a point
• Persuade powerfully
• Influence subtly
• Provoke thinking
• Help smooth transition
限于篇幅,对这些作用就不一一举例了。顺便说一下,rhetorical question后面的标点并不一定总是question mark,有时也可以是句号或感叹号。
下面,本文作者提供一篇自己写的样文,请大家分析问句在开头、中间和结尾段中的使用。
Some people prefer to ask others for help; others prefer to solve the problem with their own knowledge. Which is your choice?
Such is human nature that everyone longs for happiness in our life. Unfortunately, on the path to pursue happiness, we are likely to face various problems. How to solve them? Should we rely on ourselves to remove the obstacle or turn toothers for a cure?From my perspective, it is more reasonable to ask others for help.
Admittedly, always hinging on others to solve problems might be irrational in some cases. For example, if you ask an acquaintance with whom you haven’t a close tie to lend you a hand, he might be reluctant, because most of us have our own care and concern. Besides,some people are unwilling to shoulder the responsibility for the advice they offer. It’s not a rare case when we ask our friend for advice on what major to choose only to get a reply: “Well, it’s really hard to say. Who knows what your real interest is? Who knows what major will be popular when you graduate?”
In spite of the points mentioned above, I still cling to the idea that we should depend on others for the following reasons.
First of all, asking others for help can save us much valuable time, time that we can use for other purposes. As is known to all, most people in contemporary society are always burdened with endless stress and strain. To be admitted to prestigious universities, schoolchildren have to burn midnight oil to out do their peers in exams; likewise,university students can do nothing but to work against the clock to lend themselves an edge over others in the talent market so that they can land adecent job. Given the quickening pace of life, how can we expect us to remove all the obstacles only by ourselves?
In addition, turning to others for help is an efficient way for us to enlarge our circle of friends. It is not a rare case that friendship might be formed after we ask others for help. Take myself as an example. After helping me find a cure for my personal health problem, one of my colleagues has become my best friend. Now, when in trouble,he also asks for my advice. No wonder some even state that it is an efficient way to find friends by “bothering” others for their help.Sounds surprising?It is a discovery revealed inrecent research conducted by a group of leading experts.
Most importantly, it is the only choice to call for help when the solution to a problem requires expertise. Itis known to all that today’s society differs greatly from what it was before. Even a century ago, most folks could be self-sufficient: they grew grain on their own land and wove cloth on their own looms, which seems unimaginable in modern society. Unlike the “good old days”, modern society is a huge complex machine in which each person can serve only as a tiny part.For example, City dwellers depend on farmers for grain while farmers rely on factory workers for industrial products; in the same way, factory workers may temporarily drown our worries in soap operas shown on the screen while film-makers cannot have a film produced, however talented they might be, without the talents of play wrights,directors, photographers, actors or actresses.
Why not ask others for solution when necessary?Good or bad, this might be the best choice left to us.
托福写作:简析“展开论证”
写作,作为语言类考试中较为主观类型的考察形式,特别提到的是第二部分任务,考生应当确切地陈述观点,并能清晰地论证展开。题目要求学生能运用reasons and examples来支撑观点,而评分标准中对于展开论证作出了确切的要求。
来看满分5分的内容要求:
评分标准中明确表示论证需要使用以下论证手法:解释、例证及细节,因此许多学生会了解到这些论证方式,而且通过一些培训课程会有意识地使用,今天我们就来概括性地理一理展开思路。
例题:
STEP 1审题及文章布局
是否同意过去的食品比现在的更加健康?题目非常清晰的出现了关键词:食品、古今对比、健康。所以在思考及最后文章写作的时候,学生必须考虑到这三个方面的相关性。接着,可以发现这道题可以用一边倒的方式写作,根据自己的主张找到三个简单直接的理由证明即可。
STEP 2 Main Idea
a. Fast pace of life
b. Modern agriculture
c. Overeating fatty food
STEP 3 Well Developed
在此,要提前提醒同学们,在主题句展开的时候需要紧扣题目,再次重申关键词:食品、古今对比、健康。
a. Fast pace of life
本段的展开中需要同学可以围绕针对以下这些问题:
什么是快节奏的生活:忙于工作、交通、会议、出差
引起什么问题:快餐-垃圾食品
First, the fast pace of life makes our food less healthy than before. Fast food is a good example. In the past, life was relatively easy for people. They did not need to go all the way to their companies, transferring buses and trains several times on the way. Their daily schedules were not as filled with meetings and business trips as today. They could all go home to enjoy dinners prepared at home by their family members. However, presently, almost everyone has to focus most of his or her hours on studying or working, while still trying to squeeze time for dinner. That is where fast food comes in. The sad truth today is that knowing about the risk of eating junk food, people still rush into KFC and McDonald’s to grab a bite in order to keep their timetable.
b. Modern agriculture
本段的展开中需要同学可以围绕针对以下这些问题:
现代农业有什么:科技(杀虫剂&化肥)
引起什么问题:有毒-疾病
What is more, the development of modern agriculture has contributed to unhealthy food.Before modern agriculture developed, every farmer just used natural fertilizer and focused on their limited farmland. However, the population explosion inevitably led to a revolution in modern agriculture technology, which greatly increased crops yields, and meanwhile, generated many food security risks. Agood case in point is the wide spread usage of chemical pesticide and fertilizer to protect crops from harmful insects and to increase production, but the residue of these chemicals directly caused many diseases, such as food poisoning, cancer, mal formation and mutation.
c. Overeating fatty food
本段的展开中需要同学可以围绕针对以下这些问题:
饮食习惯:暴饮暴食
引起什么问题:过渡摄入-富人病
Finally, but most importantly, overeating fatty foods has also affected our health adversely. The increase in material wealth of the entire population has created an environment of gluttony and overindulgence in food. For instance, meat, egg and milk now make up a larger proportion of people’s diet than before, increasing the average person’s intake of calories, oil and salt.In many hospitals, rich man’s diseases, like overweight, high blood pressure and diabetes are now commonly seen. This phenomenon, though people are aware of the problem, will continue to last, for we still continue to eat unhealthy food every day.
托福写作:定义法三步快速解决写作开头难
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