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雅思小作文图表题写作提分之写作结构
雅思写作评分标准——结构
雅思写作评分标准中7+的要点在于:清晰的概述;符合逻辑的分段;行文流畅;词汇灵活;句法多变。不难看出,这些对数据的分析能力有很高的要求,正如每一道小作文题目中对写作要求都有如下表述:
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
上述写作要求中提及的概述、抓特征和对比正是我们写作和提分的方向,而就具体的方法而言,在文章结构上突破是一条捷径。
雅思小作文主体部分(main body)的结构:
分两段——且只分两段;
雅思小作文数据类图表考查的图表类型有五种,分别是线图、饼图、柱图、表格和复合型图表(上述四种图表的组合)。在写作上,图表的类型并不会对数据表达的方法产生实质的影响,决定文章主题以及表述方法的是数据本身。一般而言,雅思小作文数据类图表仅分两类:静态图(图表中没有时间或者只有一个时间)和动态图(图表中有连续的两个或以上的时间概念);我们需要处理的数据仅有两类主题:大小关系(静态图)和变化趋势(动态图),由此我们需要使用的也只有两套语言:表达比例和大小关系的,和表达变化趋势的各自一套表达方法,词汇数量很有限,掌握的难度远远低于大作文基本词汇。
复合型图表通常是两个不同类型的图表,表述的也是不同的内容,所以分段上可以自然分段;对于极少数超过两张的图表,通常单个图表都极其简单,所以也可以归类成两个段落去呈现数据。
对于其他的四种图表形态则需要根据图表主题灵活分段,对于单个图表的题型,原则是按照图表主题、数据的特征及主次关系分段,要点是把数据分成主次分明的两个段落。以下举例说明:雅思小作文例
此题反映了1999年澳大利亚各种家庭类型中处于贫困的比例,图表中有 “all household” 这样的综合信息,建议直接拎出来写在开头段的图表介绍(introduction)之后,类似的信息比如 “total, average”等也可以用这种方法处理。
对剩下来的6组数据的处理,也就是文章正文的写作思路是先把数据包切割成两部分;
1)抓取数据中最明显的特征。六种不同类别的家庭中,单亲(sole parent,21%)和单身没有子女(single no children,19%)的贫困比例最高,另外有子女的夫妇(couple with children,12%)也高于平均数,而其他类型远低于平均数。
2)分两段。虽然可以以平均数11%为标准把数据分成两类,其逻辑也很清楚,但是,为了更利于凸显特征,同时也更利于概括,把数据最大的两类单身家庭拎出来单独成段更合理。
3)确定概述的表述方法,原则是说事实,简单、直接。把单身家庭(21%和19%)作为正文第一段,概述非常好处理:
Single people, with or without children, were more likely to be poor.
如果带着有子女的夫妇一起说,就显得累赘,况且12%的比例更单身的数据相比明显偏低,所以将其并入另一段。这样的处理是的另一段的概述也比较简单,即:
By contrast, couples and aged people were better off.
这种分段的方法,通过对数据的比较找出最明显的特征,然后按照特征分段,是对写作要求(即概括、抓特征以及对比)最直接的回应,同时通过相应的段落和句法上的配合,能够更加有效地回应写作任务,达到高分的目的。
这里的例子用的是静态图,但是相同的思路同样适用于动态图的描述,区别只是把趋势相同的并在一起写,趋势不同的分开写,然后可以按照绝对值的大小确定主次和先后。考官的范文中对主次的区分和数据的取舍都是非常值得借鉴的。
如果是同一类型的多个图表共同出现的题目,比如较为常见的多饼,多柱的题型,分段的原则是一样的,也就是按照数据的主题和特征去分。如果是静态图,一般可以自然分段,因为通常情况下各个图表的内容不同,如C6T4和C10T3;如果是动态图,建议不要按照不同的时间去分段,如C7T4和C9T3,因为动态图的主题是变化和趋势,如果分段上把时间断开,那么在描述上会不利于呈现总的趋势和变化,而且在正文第一段描写第一个时间段时,文章的表述完全是静态的,只能描述在某一时间某个些事物的大小,这样把描写变化趋势的压力全部留给下文,这样对于语言的、篇幅的压力就会增加,文章的流畅度和清晰度都会受到影响。所以,对于动态的多个图表,建议按照项目分段,保留完整的时间阶段以更充分地反映数据的主题。
雅思小作文段落的结构:先总后分
有了合理的分段,通篇文章就有了坚实的骨架,而先总后分的段落结构可以把段落的功能充分发挥出来。正文的两个段落均通过首句(概括句,即主题句)进行引导,然后通过支持句(以数据为证据的对事实的详细说明)进行拓展,这样文章更容易达到连贯、紧凑和流畅。
由于小作文篇幅的限制,一个主题段的段落三、四句话比较合理,这里面去掉首句的概述,只有两三句话的机会对首句进行拓展,而这两三句支持句的写作,需要有意识地把对概述、抓特征和对比的写作要求的回应推到极致。以上图为例:
1)主体段落的首句一定是概述 。如上图,第一段首句概述——单身更容易贫困(Single people, with or without children were more likely to be poor.)之后,需要提供具体的事实作为证据,所以接下来的拓展顺理成章,衔接手段也容易选择。如:In specific, 证据一:单亲家庭贫困比例最高,超过五分之一,达到21%;In addition, 证据二:单身无子女的贫困率次之,但也远高于平均水平,接近五分之一,达到19%。
2)主体段第二段通常需要处理一系列次重要数据,所以配合该段首句展开、分清主次、归纳取舍是构思和写作的关键。在概述 - 夫妇和老人的情况好得多(Couples and aged people were better off.)之后,需要处理四组数据,即夫妇有小孩12%;夫妇无孩7%;老年夫妇4%;老年单身6%。由于12%明显大于其它数据,所以要先写,然后呈现7%,而老年人4%和6%的数据最小,这是数据特征,为了体现这一特征,一定要把两类老年家庭一起写,可以取平均值加以表述。这样,由于首句的引导,整段在衔接手段的选择、叙述语气的调整以及数据的取舍上就都有了方向。为了配合说“情况好得多”, 在描述12%和7%时就可以恰当得调整一下语气,如即便有孩夫妇的贫困率略高于平均数 达到12%,但是无孩的远低于平均水平,仅7%;然后再提及老年人数据时可以理直气壮得说,老年人极少贫困,贫困率仅约5%。这样的文章主次分明,且紧凑,同时相应的衔接手段可以使文章更连贯、更流畅。
雅思小作文示例2:
1)按照大小的对比关系来考量,本图数据的特征是三类开销中第一列 (Food/Drink/Tobacco) 的比例最大,概述也非常简单直白:
Customer in the given five countries spent the most on food, drink and tobacco.
所以将其拎出来作为主体段第一段的首句很合适。之后,有5个百分比需要作为证据呈现在支持句里。原则是,绝不写流水账。通过观察数据,我们发现土耳其和爱尔兰的数据远大于其它三个国家,那么这两个国家的数据就需要一起呈现,而其它三个国家数据相似,也可以归为一类一起呈现,这样可以更充分地回应任务。而为了配合主题句中“spent the most” 的表述,我们不妨把叙述的方法调整一下:
Specifically, it cost Turkish and Irish nearly one third of their income, which accounted for 32.14% and 28.91%, respectively.
其它三个国家虽然数据要小得多,但是为了保持与段落主题的一致,我们可以把语气调整成为:
Even in the rest three countries, namely Spain, Italy and Sweden, the proportions of expenditure on this category were close to one fifth, which represented 18.80%, 16.36% and 15.77%, respectively.
注意在这一段,五个国家地数据我是完整呈现的,原因很简单,它们最大,所以最重要。
2) 正文的第二段,我们需要处理十个百分比,决不要去罗列它们,否则的话是对写作任务的藐视。我们先确定概述:
By contrast, consumers in five countries allocated much less of their spending on the other two categories, which were clothing and footwear, and leisure and education.
我们这一段的主题是“much less”, 所以数据从简,在第二列里意大利的开销最大,可以提一下,但是要注意语气,不妨将其表达为,即便是在开销最大的意大利,其百分比也不足十分之一(9%),而在剩下的四个国家,这项的开销都小于十二分之一,或者用7%也行,总之要突出“小”:
With regard to the former one (clothing and footwear), it only took no more than one tenth of daily expenditure (9%) in Italy which ranked the first in all five, while the rest four only spent less than one out of a dozen (7%).
接下来说leisure and education 的时候,给一个约数即可——都不足5%,千万不要在纠缠在谁最大谁最小的套路里,因为不论谁大谁小都不重要了。
总之,先总后分的结构,在保证呈现清晰概述的同时,通过主题句对段落的引导,达到结构紧凑,主次分明,行文流畅的效果,是非常有效的、有明确得分目的应试文章的写作方法。
雅思小作文句子的结构:衔接手段+事实+数据
雅思数据类图表的写作中的句子大体分为两种:概括句和支持句。概括句越简单直白越好,如果你提取的特征足够明显,那你的概括句应该是非常简单的句子。而为了更充分地回应概括、抓特征以及对比的写作任务,同时迎合流畅度以及语法的评分标准,对支持句的处理就需要以实用和效率为原则。
1)好的支持句一定包含着恰当的衔接手段。衔接手段可以是衔接词,也可以是灵活而准确的指代。为了充分发挥支持的功能,支持句必须紧扣主题句,提供准确的事实和数据,同时在语气上与主题句相匹配。虽然母语的使用过程中,衔接手段是自然流露的,这也正是雅思写作9分关于连贯及衔接的评分标准,然而鉴于6分- 8分评分细则中对于衔接手段的强调不仅表现在质量上,而且表现在数量上,所以在训练小作文的过程中,刻意地增加衔接手段并无不妥,即使有时可能会不自然,但是总好过因为衔接手段不足而在这一项跌至5分。所以建议在每一句句子落笔之前,要想好衔接的手段尤其是一些能够表达清晰的对比关系的衔接词,如similarly, by contrast, conversely, to a lesser / greater extent等等。
2)数据直接反映出来的事实才是描写的重点,所以也应该是支持句的关键信息。雅思小作文数据类图表写作的最大误区是仅满足于,或者说专注于对数据本身的描写,而忽略了这一类文章最基本的功能 - 帮助读者理解图表。例如在描写某个体现持续上升的数据 (不论是以表格、线、饼或者柱的形式出现 )的时候,如果仅仅表达为某某数字从几几年的多少持续上升到了几几年的多少,或者这条线呈上升的趋势或者这个比例是持续变大的,对于读者理解图表几乎没有帮助,所以意义不大。但是一旦与事实结合,阅读效果就大不一样了。比如:
Chicken has gained increasing popularity, with its weekly consumption surged from below 150 grams in 1979 to around 220 grams in 2004, compared to the general decline of other types of meat in the given period.
再比如:
The significance of hydro power as one of the main sources of electricity in 1980 remained unchallenged, as indicated by the stable proportion of contribution at around one quarter in both years, regardless of the fact that its units of production nearly doubled in the given period.
数据被赋予证据的功能,用于支持对数据所体现出来的事实的概括和分析,这样的作文不流于机械,才有意义, 同时对雅思写作任务的回应也更充分。
3)不难发现,包含着衔接手段、事实陈述以及数字证据的支持句不可避免地成为了复杂句或者复合句,其中富含各种从句、并列句和非谓语动词,与概括句构成语法现象丰富的段落,这对于评分标准中的任务回应程度、连贯流畅性和语法的多样性都是直接的应对方式,同时也为词汇的变化尽可能地创造了机会,或者说留出了空间,毕竟描述事实时语言的施展空间要大得多。当然,任何主观臆断都不能出现在小作文的写作中,这仍然是不可挑战的原则。
训练方法:口述文章结构结合单句练习。
在上述结构框架下的小作文数据类图表的练习会更有效率和效果。
1)依据真题,从分段开始训练文章结构,每道题目限时2分钟,要求学生在此时间内看懂图表,找出数据特征并合理分段。
2)口述(可以双语进行)通篇八、九句话的叙述次序和重点,要求结合衔接词的使用;
3)抽出任意一句话要求学生进行单句写作练习。
4)依据考试时间安排在试前两周到一个月的时间进行强化练习(通篇限时练习)保持状态。
雅思g类书信小作文范文 解释信:给保险公司
describe the item you lost
explain how you lost it
tell the insurance company what you would like them to do
雅思g类书信小作文范文范文:从爷爷那里继承的金表在酒店里丢失,所以向保险公司咨询。
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to make an insurance claim for an item that I lost while on holiday last week.
The item is a wristwatch that I inherited from my grandfather. Both the watch strap and the face are made of gold, and the watch is worth a considerable amount of money. It also has great sentimental value.
I believe that I must have left the watch on the beach in front of the hotel where I was staying. I did return to search for it, but I can only assume that it was either covered in sand or that it had been washed out to sea.
I took out comprehensive travel insurance with your company, and my contract states that all lost items are covered. I would therefore ask that you review the attached information regarding the estimated value of the watch, and that you process my claim as quickly as possible.
Please let me know if you require any further information.
Yours faithfully,
Paul Jones(170)
雅思g类书信小作文范文 答复信:面对朋友的工作邀约
雅思g类书信小作文话题
你的一位好友要求你作为他的新买卖的伙伴,面对这个工作offer,请写信答复。
One of your friends has asked you to be a partner in his new business. Write a letter to reply to your friend's offer. In your letter
give your opinion of your friend's business idea
tell him whether or not you have decided to accept his offer
and explain your reasons for this decision.
雅思g类书信小作范文
Dear John,
I hope you're well. Thanks for giving me some time to think about your business proposal.
First, let me just say that I think it would be a great idea to open a café on the high street.It definitely makes sense since there are no other cafés in the area.
Having said that, I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn your offer down. I've thought long and hard about this decision, and I just dont think it's the right time for me to get involved with a big project like this.
To be honest, I would struggle to find enough money to cover my share of the initial investment costs. Also, I don't really want to leave my current job, and I think it would be impossible for me to commit to
the café project while I'm still working full-time.
Best of luck with the café. I'm sure you'll make a success of it without me!
Speak soon
Chris(162)
雅思g类书信小作文范文 投诉信:写给商店经理
雅思g类书信小作文话题
为你的厨房买了一个设备,但立马出问题了。你致电商铺,没有任何实质回应,所以,你要写信给商铺经理。
You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken.
Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter
describe the problem with the equipment
explain what happened when you phoned the shop
say what you would like the manager to do
雅思g类书信小作文范文
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing with regard to an appliance that I recently bought from your shop.
On the 10th May I bought a new washing machine, and it was installed the following day. However, when I tried to wash some clothes, I noticed that the machine failed to spin during the washing cycle. Consequently, it leaves clothes wet but not clean.
When I phoned your shop to report the problem, I spoke to an assistant who did not know the procedure for repairs or returns. He assured me that he would report the issue to the store manager, and that I would be contacted the same day. That was two days ago, and I am still waiting for your call.
As the appliance is under warranty, I am entitled to ask for it to be repaired or replaced. I have decided that I would like a replacement washing machine. I would also like you to phone me personally when you receive this letter.
I await your prompt response.
Yours faithfully,
John Smith (175 words)
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